A Personal Post, and a Bit of Inspiration
This post is a personal one for me. Don't judge - it just makes me feel better to put it out there. ;)
Some of y'all might know I'm a *bit*stressed crazy nuts stressed about report cards, assessments, Profile Cards that do not align with my county's pacing guide, developmental expectations being thrown out the window as I prepare 7 year olds for standardized testing (complete with bubbling), and tracking out of my classroom for the first time in years. It's The Super Teacher Myth.
What isn't helping matters is my personal battle with depression. I have been battling this illness since being diagnosed when I was 15. Most days, I am fine, but during periods of high stress, it becomes unmanageable. That's when I rely heavily on the village of support I have around me: family, friends, coworkers, my amazing therapists, my kids' teachers, strangers, etc. We have more frozen meals, more cozy family time, and a messier house. I am learning to accept that it is acceptable to work at 70% instead of 110%, but this is difficult for me, as I really want to climb into bed and work at 0% occasionally.
During this school year, I have made a conscious effort to remember my blessings and try to bring kindness into my everyday interactions with others. This is difficult at times, as I have had interactions with other teachers where my personal battles became evident, and they have not been as understanding as I had hoped. Luckily, this is the exception and not the rule at my school. I am trying not to dwell on the things that make me stressed, but we all know that is easier said than done.
I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this with you, except that it feels a bit cathartic to put it out there that no one is perfect, and that everyone is fighting their personal battles, even if they present themselves as fine. Some days, we feel as though we aren't making much of a difference, but it's important to remember that what we do is important. Here's a much needed reminder:
Thanks for letting me ramble on. :)
Some of y'all might know I'm a *bit*
What isn't helping matters is my personal battle with depression. I have been battling this illness since being diagnosed when I was 15. Most days, I am fine, but during periods of high stress, it becomes unmanageable. That's when I rely heavily on the village of support I have around me: family, friends, coworkers, my amazing therapists, my kids' teachers, strangers, etc. We have more frozen meals, more cozy family time, and a messier house. I am learning to accept that it is acceptable to work at 70% instead of 110%, but this is difficult for me, as I really want to climb into bed and work at 0% occasionally.
Thanks for letting me ramble on. :)
Hang in there, I know how stress can make any illness worse. It is okay to work at 70 percent or even less sometimes. Do what you can the rest will be fine. I have learned this through my own experiences. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteJill
Jill, Thanks for the kind comment. I'm trying to take your good advice. :)
Delete~Jen
Stay strong. You are not alone in your battle, I too am struggling to make it through and at times I don't know if I can. That's when your support team is most helpful, use them. Don't feel bad about working at 70% or less as Jill said. You have to put your health first and do only what you can do for that day. My mom keeps reminding me to take it 1 day at a time which helps me. You will get through this, things will look up.
ReplyDeletePositive thoughts and energy sent your way.
Lexi
Thanks for the support and positive energy. :)
Delete~Jen
Jill I appreciate your honesty. It can be so hard to not feel "on" when teachers are expected to be highly motivating and engaging every minute of the day. I also appreciate that you shared what a REAL teacher feels and struggles with daily. Much Love!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Reagan!! Much appreciation!
Delete~Jen
Thanks for your honesty. YOU are an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteHugs and warm thoughts headed your way, sweet bloggy friend...Lisa
Thanks so much for being supportive!
Delete~Jen
((HUGS)) to you! I appreciate posts like this so that I know I'm not the only one barely hanging on sometimes. I too have battled depression for most of my adult life. I joke that this year's group of kids (parents to be honest) have almost pushed me to two happy pills a day instead of one. Hang in there! Adding you to my prayer list!
ReplyDelete✪Crystal✪
Strive to Sparkle
{{HUGS}}...thanks for sharing your heart with us. I get it; and I will be praying that the road ahead is straighter, sunnier, and filled with friends.
ReplyDelete:-)Chrissy ReadWriteSing
I think most teachers have more going on behind the curtain than they might display to others. I agree that it takes real courage to share those struggles and definitely is an inspiration to others.
ReplyDeleteNotJustChild'sPlay
Big gigantic hugs to you - it's hard to put yourself out there, and to me - you are one brave chicky!
ReplyDeleteHolly
Crisscross Applesauce in First Grade
Jen,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing! I am one of toes people that thinks everyone has it all together except me so your post was super meaningful for me. Take care my dear! We are there for you!!!
Camille